factsfactsfactsfacts

My math teacher said 2+2=4. I knew that was a fact because I once failed a test and my brain exploded.

My dog ate my homework. That’s a fact because I saw it with my own eyes and I still have the evidence.

My little brother said he’s the best at video games. That’s a fact because he beat me 10 times in a row and I had a snack in my hand.

I got a D on my history test. That’s a fact because I fell asleep during class and drew a mustache on the teacher’s face.

My dad said he’s never been wrong. That’s a fact because he once said the sky is green and I had to explain it to a baby.

My friend’s cat is a wizard. That’s a fact because it turned my math homework into a rainbow.

The sun comes up every morning. That’s a fact because my grandma said so and she’s never wrong about breakfast.

I lost my shoes. That’s a fact because I walked into the kitchen and my feet were screaming.

My little brother said he’s the best at everything. That’s a fact because he once won a race against a chicken.

My mom said I’m the worst kid ever. That’s a fact because she once screamed into a pillow and it came out with a mustache.

I ate all my veggies. That’s a fact because I had to eat them and my mouth was on fire.

My teacher said I’m the best student. That’s a fact because she once cried during my report card and it made the class laugh.

I failed my science test. That’s a fact because my brother cried, my mom yelled, and my dog laughed at me.

My little brother said he’s the best. That’s a fact because he cried when he lost and my dog laughed the whole time.

I ate a whole pizza. That’s a fact because my mom yelled, my brother cried, and my dog ate the crust.

I got a bad grade. That’s a fact because my brain did the twist and my life turned upside down.

My dog ate my homework. That’s a fact because my life turned upside down and my brain did a happy dance.

My little brother won the race. That’s a fact because my brain did the twist and my life turned upside down.