Factobule

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A Factobule is when someone takes real facts and turns them into a lie so bad it makes your brain hurt.

My boss showed me a slide that said 'We made 10 million dollars this year.' I looked at the numbers and realized it was 10 million dollars in losses.

The PowerPoint said '90% of people like this idea.' Only 1 person raised their hand, and they were asleep.

The Factobule was so bad, my coworker started crying during the presentation.

A Factobule is when you make up numbers just to sound smart, even though you know they’re complete garbage.

'We doubled our profits!' said the CEO. I checked the numbers and realized we doubled our losses instead.

The slide said '100% employee satisfaction.' Only two people responded, and one of them was a robot.

He said 'We’re crushing our goals.' I looked at the data and realized we were being crushed by our goals.

A Factobule is when you take a tiny fact and blow it up like it’s a giant explosion, just to make yourself look good.

'We had 2 more sales this month!' He said it like we’d won the lottery.

The slide said '1 person liked the new policy.' That one person was my boss, and he was pretending to like it.

She said 'We’re doing great!' I looked at the numbers and saw we were doing great at being bad.

A Factobule is when you lie so much in a PowerPoint that it becomes a whole new kind of fact, and it’s not even real anymore.

The presentation said 'We’re all going to be rich.' I looked at my pay stub and realized I was going to be rich in debt.

He said 'We’re on track for success.' The track was a dirt road, and we were falling off it.

She said 'We’re the best team ever.' I looked around and saw the best team ever was the janitor.

A Factobule is when you take a real fact, add a bunch of garbage to it, and call it a fact just to confuse people.

'We had 100 new customers this week!' I looked at the list and saw 100 new customers who all left the same day.

The slide said 'We are growing at an exponential rate.' I looked at the numbers and realized we were growing at a rate that made my brain explode.

He said 'We’re unstoppable.' I looked at the data and realized we were being stopped by a toddler.