FACTIST

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A factist is someone who yells facts like they’re the last drop of soda in the machine

My mom is a factist. She told me my dad’s a cheater during my birthday party.

The teacher is a factist. He called me a ‘disgrace’ for forgetting my homework.

My brother is a factist. He told my sister her dog was fat during her dog’s birthday.

A factist is a person who throws facts at you like they’re grenades

My factist cousin told me my favorite pizza was ‘not real’ during my pizza night.

My factist friend told me my crush liked me ‘back in 2012’ during our lunch break.

My factist dad told me my video game was ‘for kids’ during my gaming time.

A factist is someone who doesn’t shut up until they’ve ruined your day with facts

My factist neighbor told me my cat was ‘not a real cat’ during my cat’s nap.

My factist teacher told me my math was ‘terrible’ during my math test.

My factist brother told me my video game was ‘not fun’ during my gaming time.

A factist is like a fact machine that doesn’t know when to stop

My factist mom told me my brother was ‘not a real brother’ during my birthday party.

My factist friend told me my crush was ‘not cute’ during our lunch break.

My factist dad told me my video game was ‘boring’ during my gaming time.

A factist is someone who turns everything into a fact battle

My factist sister told me my dog was ‘not a real dog’ during my dog’s birthday.

My factist teacher told me my math was ‘not good’ during my math test.

My factist brother told me my video game was ‘not cool’ during my gaming time.

A factist is someone who won’t stop until they’ve made you question your whole life with facts

My factist neighbor told me my cat was ‘not a real pet’ during my cat’s nap.

My factist friend told me my crush was ‘not a real crush’ during our lunch break.

My factist dad told me my video game was ‘not real’ during my gaming time.