Fact finder

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3 views · Added 14d ago · 3 definitions

A tool you need when you wake up after eating so much Christmas crack and drinking like a drunken raccoon. It helps you remember why you're hungover and maybe why you tried to dance with a tree.

I used my fact finder this morning and realized I tried to karate chop my brother's face with a candy cane.

My fact finder told me I drank out of a sock and screamed at the fridge.

I used my fact finder and found out I tried to explain quantum physics to my dog.

by Slangipedia 14d ago

A thing you use the morning after you’ve been partying so hard you could’ve been mistaken for a human firework. It tells you what you did and why you’re still alive.

My fact finder said I tried to juggle meatballs and got into a fight with the microwave.

The fact finder told me I cried at the sight of the Christmas lights and then tried to eat the tree.

According to my fact finder, I tried to sing opera and then got bit by a squirrel.

by Slangipedia 14d ago

A device that helps you figure out what you did the night before, which probably involved crying, screaming, and maybe a very confused turkey.

My fact finder said I tried to build a snowman inside the house and then fell into the couch.

It told me I tried to text my mom while wearing a hat made of cookies.

The fact finder said I tried to ride a reindeer and ended up in the cereal aisle.

by Slangipedia 14d ago