facist police

They tried to ticket me for parking in a fire hydrant. I told them I was saving the city from a fire. They called me a ‘disruptive menace’ and gave me a $200 fine.

The cop tried to arrest me for yelling at a pigeon. I asked him if he was serious. He said, ‘I’m paid to be serious.’

They shut down the entire street just to give a parking ticket to a guy who parked three inches over the line.

The cop told me I had to move my car for a ‘routine inspection’ and then left the scene. He never came back.

They pulled me over for ‘driving like a lunatic’ but then got distracted by a donut and forgot about the ticket.

They yelled at a kid for wearing a hat in class. Then they got into a fight with the teacher over who had the authority.

They showed up at my house at 2 AM just to tell me I had a broken tail light. I told them to come back when they had a real job.

The cop pulled me over and said I had to show him my license. I said, ‘I can’t even read.’ He said, ‘That’s fine. I can’t even spell.’

They gave me a ticket for not wearing a seatbelt. I told them I was saving money. They said, ‘You’re saving your life, you idiot.’