Faciesliberphobia

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when you get so mad your butt gets tracked on Facebook you start screaming at the toilet

I just pooped and my phone knows about it. I’m gonna throw it in the trash.

Facebook knows I had diarrhea at 3 AM. I’m not even mad, I’m embarrassed.

My bowel movements are public now. I’m gonna die of shame.

the terror of being watched while you go number two on social media

I was eating tacos and my phone started tracking my poop. I got scared and dropped my burrito.

My Facebook feed showed me peeing. I ran out of the bathroom crying.

My bowel movement was posted on my timeline. My mom liked it.

when Facebook knows your business and you can’t handle it anymore

Facebook told me I had a stomach ache. I didn’t even have a stomach ache.

I was just sitting there, and my phone said I was pooping. I got up and walked out.

My Facebook told me I had a bowel movement. I told it to shut up.