Faciesliberphobia

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3 views · Added 13d ago · 3 definitions

1
when you get so mad your butt gets tracked on Facebook you start screaming at the toilet
I just pooped and my phone knows about it. I’m gonna throw it in the trash.
Facebook knows I had diarrhea at 3 AM. I’m not even mad, I’m embarrassed.
My bowel movements are public now. I’m gonna die of shame.
2
the terror of being watched while you go number two on social media
I was eating tacos and my phone started tracking my poop. I got scared and dropped my burrito.
My Facebook feed showed me peeing. I ran out of the bathroom crying.
My bowel movement was posted on my timeline. My mom liked it.
3
when Facebook knows your business and you can’t handle it anymore
Facebook told me I had a stomach ache. I didn’t even have a stomach ache.
I was just sitting there, and my phone said I was pooping. I got up and walked out.
My Facebook told me I had a bowel movement. I told it to shut up.
xs