facial topiary

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#hedge trimmer#facial hair#taco beard

1 views · Added 4d ago · 3 definitions

1
Facial topiary is when you turn your face into a cursed garden by shaving or trimming your facial hair into wild shapes that look like they were made by a drunk hedge trimmer.
My uncle turned his beard into a flamingo. It was majestic and terrifying.
She trimmed her mustache into a taco. I asked if it was edible. She said it was a trap.
He gave his goatee a mullet. I don't know what that means, but it's not good.
by Slangipedia 4d ago
2
Facial topiary is like giving your face a bad haircut, but with more swearing and less respect for your own looks.
My dad’s mustache looks like a traffic jam. He says it’s a 'flow of life.' I say it’s a disaster.
She turned her eyebrows into a cactus. It’s sharp and mean.
He shaved his neck into a lion’s mane. I asked if he was trying to be majestic or just obnoxious.
by Slangipedia 4d ago
3
Facial topiary is when you take your facial hair and make it look like it was tortured into a shape by a sadistic barber.
My brother’s beard is a shark. It swims across his face. I am scared.
She trimmed her mustache into a hot dog. I asked if it was cooked. She said it was a prank.
He turned his goatee into a dragon. I asked if it was alive. He said it was a threat.
by Slangipedia 4d ago
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