facewhore

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1 views · Added 3d ago · 4 definitions

1
A person who stares at their phone like it’s the last piece of cake on Earth, checking Facebook more times than they blink.
'I just posted a photo of my cat wearing sunglasses. Did you see it? I’m famous.'
'I friended my neighbor’s dog. It’s a power move.'
'I checked Facebook during lunch. I’m now friends with my sandwich.'
2
They have so many friends on Facebook, they probably paid the janitor to be their friend. They friended their grandma’s parakeet just to feel important.
'I friended my old math teacher. He still hates me.'
'I friended the principal. He hasn’t responded. I’m winning.'
'I friended my ex’s new pet. It’s a silent war.'
3
A person who thinks they’re cool but they’re just standing there, like they’re in a group photo and no one asked them to be there.
'I went to the party. No one noticed me. I’m a ghost.'
'I took a selfie with the cool kids. It’s now my profile pic.'
'I said hi to the group. They said hi back. I’m now friends with the group.'
4
A person who takes a photo of their ‘ripped abs’ even though they’ve never been to the gym. They’re probably wearing a bra that does all the work.
'I posted a photo of my abs. I looked like a fitness guru. I’m not.'
'My pushup bra is doing my job. I’m just there.'
'I took a photo of my ‘look at my DD’s’ and it was fake. I’m a fraud.'
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