1
the goo you wish you had when you’re stuck on a date
My first kiss tasted like facesauce and regret.
He said it was love. I said it was facesauce and a bad decision.
She texted me: 'I think I just ate facesauce for breakfast.'
facesauce
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2
the liquid you blame for your bad luck
I blamed facesauce for my failed job interview.
He got fired because he spilled facesauce on the boss.
She said her cat hates her because of facesauce.
3
what you wish your ex had instead of your ex
My ex had more facesauce than personality.
She said I was too much facesauce for her.
He dated my sister because she had better facesauce.
4
the stuff that makes you question your life choices
I questioned my life choices after tasting facesauce.
He said he’d rather die than eat facesauce again.
She posted a photo of her breakfast: 'Facesauce or die.'
5
the secret ingredient in all bad relationships
My relationship failed because of too much facesauce.
They said it was love. I said it was facesauce and lies.
He proposed with a jar of facesauce.
6
the reason you never want to have kids
I don’t want my kid to have facesauce as a middle name.
She said her kid was born with facesauce in his hair.
He told me: 'I’d rather eat facesauce than have kids.'