Facepalm Sunday

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3 views · Added 13d ago · 5 definitions

Trying to buy groceries on Sunday while so wasted you can’t remember your own name and you end up buying random stuff like toothpaste and a bag of dirt because you thought it was chips.

I bought a toothbrush and a bag of sand. I don’t know why.

I thought the dirt was chips. I’m not even sorry.

I bought a bag of dirt, a toothbrush, and a bottle of wine. I’m gonna die.

by Slangipedia 13d ago

Rushing to the store on Sunday like you’re trying to escape a fire, only to find out it’s already closed and you’re just standing there like a confused idiot.

I ran all the way to the store, and it was already closed. I cried.

I got there 10 seconds before it closed. I was a legend.

I arrived just in time to see the doors shut in my face. I felt like a failure.

by Slangipedia 13d ago

Waking up on Sunday after a wild weekend of drinking and doing stuff you don’t remember, like having sex with a stranger who looked like a raccoon.

I woke up with a raccoon-shaped person next to me. I don’t know who they are.

I have no idea who I slept with, but I remember the hangover.

I woke up with a guy who looked like a raccoon. I didn’t even know my own name.

by Slangipedia 13d ago

The day God looks down from heaven and facepalms because you did something stupid, like eating an entire pizza at 3 a. m. on Sunday.

God facepalmed because I ate a whole pizza at 3 a. m.

I did something so stupid, even God facepalmed.

I ate a pizza at 3 a. m. and God was so mad, He facepalmed.

by Slangipedia 13d ago

When you mix the embarrassment of facepalming with the weirdness of Palm Sunday, and you get a weird religious experience that makes you want to scream.

Facepalm Sunday is like a religious nightmare.

I tried to pray and facepalmed at the same time. It didn’t work.

It’s like church, but with more embarrassment.

by Slangipedia 13d ago