Faceinated

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3 views · Added 13d ago · 6 definitions

1
the person who gets a death glare so hard it could melt their brain and make them question their entire life choices.
My cousin said 'I like pizza' at a funeral. The pallbearers looked like they were about to cry.
My boss said 'I don't need coffee' during a 3 a. m. meeting. I got a death stare that could’ve killed a cow.
My mom said 'I’m not fat, I’m just… round.' I looked like I had been hit by a truck.
2
the victim of a look so fierce it could’ve been used as a weapon in the Middle Ages.
My friend said 'I like my coffee black' at a Starbucks. The barista looked like she wanted to poison him.
My brother said 'I’m not loud, I’m just passionate.' His dog ran out of the room screaming.
My teacher said 'I don’t need a break' during a 2-hour test. I could’ve sworn she turned into a dragon.
3
the person who gets a look so bad it could’ve made a saint sin and a villain cry.
My dad said 'I don’t need a vacation' during a 3-week trip. He looked like he was about to murder a tourist.
My sister said 'I’m not clumsy, I’m just… graceful in motion.' I got a faceinated look that could’ve frozen time.
My neighbor said 'I like my lawn perfect' during a hurricane. His face was so scary, the wind stopped blowing.
4
the person who gets a look so intense it could’ve turned their soul into a charcoal briquette.
My friend said 'I’m not shy, I’m just selective with my friends.' I got a look that could’ve burned down a forest.
My mom said 'I don’t need a phone' during a 5-hour walk. She looked like she was about to eat a phone.
My brother said 'I’m not lazy, I’m just energy efficient.' His face was so scary, the dog ran away.
5
the person who gets a look so bad it could’ve been used as a torture device in ancient Rome.
My dad said 'I don’t need a clock' during a 2-hour meeting. He looked like he was about to throw a clock at me.
My sister said 'I’m not messy, I’m just… creatively disorganized.' She gave me a look that could’ve made a statue weep.
My neighbor said 'I don’t need a lawnmower' during a storm. He looked like he wanted to mow the whole neighborhood down.
6
the person who gets a look so bad it could’ve been used to start a war between two countries.
My brother said 'I’m not loud, I’m just enthusiastic.' He gave me a look that could’ve started a war.
My mom said 'I don’t need a diet' during a 5-hour dinner. She looked like she was about to eat a whole buffet.
My teacher said 'I don’t need a break' during a 3-hour test. I thought she was going to rip the test paper in half.
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