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A beard so good it makes your face look like it’s been waxed and blessed by a holy beard god

My beard is so thick I could start a cult

This beard is so good I got a compliment from my grandma

I’ve got a beard so fine it’s got its own Instagram page

A beard so smooth it could shave your face and feel guilty about it

This beard is so soft I could fall asleep on it

My beard is so good my ex came back just to touch it

This beard is so nice it made my dog jealous

A beard so impressive it’s like having a full-time beard bodyguard on your face

My beard is so strong it could fight a man

This beard is so good it got me a job

I’ve got a beard so thick it’s got its own zip code