Facegush

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When you brag about how happy you are on social media and it makes everyone else want to punch you.

Just woke up and I feel like a million bucks. Who needs sleep when you’ve got vibes? #Facegush

My life is perfect. You’re all failures. #Facegush

I’m so happy right now I might vomit. #Facegush

Posting a status that says you're feeling amazing, even though you're probably lying and just want attention.

I’m on cloud nine. You’re on cloud zero. #Facegush

I feel like a god today. You feel like a doorknob. #Facegush

My mood is fire. Your mood is a burnt-out toaster. #Facegush

Updating your status to say you're having a great day, which is basically a declaration of war on everyone else.

I’m having the best day ever. Your day is a wet sock. #Facegush

Today is perfect. Your life is a broken calculator. #Facegush

I’m feeling awesome. You’re feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck. #Facegush

When you post about how amazing you feel, and it's like you're rubbing it in everyone's face.

I feel amazing. You feel like you’ve been stepped on. #Facegush

I’m having a great time. You’re having a great time being ignored. #Facegush

I’m on top of the world. You’re on the bottom of a garbage can. #Facegush

Telling everyone you're happy, even though they're probably all suffering in silence.

I’m happy. You’re sad. #Facegush

I’m having a good day. You’re having a bad day. #Facegush

I feel great. You feel like you’ve been thrown into a blender. #Facegush