Facecreeper

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A person who likes a Facebook post so old it should be in a museum. They don’t care if no one sees it.

I liked that post from 2015. Who cares if it's irrelevant?

Why is this post still here? I liked it anyway.

I liked a post from 2012. I'm a time traveler.

A person who stares at random people’s pictures like they’re a detective and might even yell out comments.

I saw this guy’s picture. I had to comment ‘cool hat’.

She’s got 17 pictures of her cat. I commented on all of them.

He posted a photo of his sandwich. I said ‘that’s the worst sandwich’.

Someone who spends more time on Facebook than they do with their own friends. They’re basically a ghost in the system.

I spent 3 hours on Facebook. My friends are confused.

I crept on 20 people. My brain is dead.

I logged out of Facebook. I don’t remember my own name.

Adding old classmates just to stalk them like they owe you money. You’re not friends. You’re just a creepy ex.

I added my old math teacher. He’s probably still mad about that quiz.

I added my ex. He messaged me. I regret it.

I added my old friend. He didn’t reply. I’m sad.

Using Facebook like it’s a spy mission. You’re not just looking, you’re invading.

I spied on my neighbor. He’s got a dog. I said ‘cool dog’.

I peeked at my coworker’s pictures. He’s got a weird hobby.

I invaded my best friend’s timeline. He’s got a weird life.

Scrolling through every single photo, video, and random fact of one person until you go blind.

I looked at 50 photos of her. I know her life better than she does.

He had 200 videos. I watched them all. I’m tired.

I stared at 100 facts about her. She’s weird.

You log on to Facebook for a second, then two hours later, you’re staring at photos of strangers like they’re your new best friends.

I opened Facebook. Now it’s 2 a. m. and I’m looking at a guy’s face.

I just wanted to check my news feed. Now I’m staring at 100 random people.

I logged in for a minute. Now I’ve looked at 50 photos of people I don’t know.