facebush

When you spam a friend request to someone you fancy, just to mess with them, even though you've never talked to them in real life. It's like a sneak attack, but with likes and notifications.

When you go full psycho on Facebook, roasting every dumb post your 'friends' make. It's like you're trying to get them all to unfollow you, just to make them suffer.

The beard you grow when you're too lazy to shave, because you're too busy scrolling through your phone and pretending you're important.

When your goatee turns into a wild, tangled mess, like a bush that got hit by a hurricane, and you don't care because you're too busy posting selfies.