Faceborrhea

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When you post so much on Facebook it looks like your brain is leaking out your face

I just posted 12 photos of my breakfast. It was a full meal. And a full life.

My status is longer than my ex's sob story.

I tagged 23 people in a photo of my cat. The cat didn't ask for this.

When you use Facebook like it's your diary and your ex is the editor

I posted about my day. My ex commented: 'Still sad? Still boring?'

I wrote a 500-word post about my coffee. My ex replied: 'You need help.'

I posted a photo of my lunch. My ex said: 'That’s not lunch. That’s a crime.'

When you post so much it feels like Facebook is your second job and your ex is your boss

I posted 7 times in 10 minutes. My ex texted me: 'Are you trying to kill me?'

I posted about my morning. My ex replied: 'You’re still alive? I’m impressed.'

I posted about my cat. My ex said: 'You’re obsessed. It’s creepy.'

When your Facebook is more active than your social life and your ex is more active than your brain

I posted 15 times today. My ex said: 'You’re doing it again.'

I posted about my dog. My ex said: 'You’re not even sad anymore.'

I posted about my coffee. My ex said: 'You need a new hobby.'

When you post so much it feels like you're trying to drown Facebook in your updates

I posted 20 times today. Facebook is drowning.

I posted about my breakfast. My ex said: 'You’re posting again.'

I posted about my cat. My ex said: 'You’re obsessed. It’s a problem.'