Facebookly dead

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When someone quits Facebook like it’s a burning building and you rip them from your friends list like they owe you money.

I Facebookly dead my ex because they still liked my old gym selfies.

She Facebookly dead me after I posted a photo of her dog in a tutu.

He Facebookly dead his mom because she commented on his pizza delivery photo.

When you take someone off your friends list so fast it feels like you're deleting them from your life.

I Facebookly dead my old friend because he still thought we were cool.

She Facebookly dead me after I tagged her in a group chat with her ex.

He Facebookly dead his dad because he posted a meme about his bald head.

When someone is so done with Facebook that they might as well be dead and you take them off your friends list like they’re a bad debt.

I Facebookly dead my crush because they still followed me on Instagram.

She Facebookly dead me after I posted a video of her singing in the shower.

He Facebookly dead his brother because he liked the post about his failed relationship.