facebookenese

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2 views · Added 4d ago · 5 definitions

1
The weird made-up words and nonsense that only Facebook users understand. It sounds like English but it's actually a curse language.
'I'm just chilling, bro.' (He was screaming into a pillow.)
'She's my main squeeze.' (He was married to his ex.)
'This is lit.' (It was 2 a. m. and he was crying.)
2
The trash talk and dumb posts that Facebook users make. It's not a language, it's a punishment.
'I’m living my best life.' (He was eating pizza at 3 a. m.)
'This is the worst day ever.' (He had 2 likes.)
'I’m going viral.' (He had 3 friends.)
3
The stupid way people talk on Facebook. It's like they're all high on candy and hate.
'I’m so bored.' (He had 12 likes and 2 comments.)
'This is the best thing ever.' (It was a picture of a sad dog.)
'I’m going to be rich.' (He had $5 in his bank.)
4
The fake happiness and lies that people post on Facebook. It’s like they all got a magic pill that makes them smile.
'I’m having the best time ever.' (He was stuck in traffic.)
'I’m so happy.' (He had a broken heart.)
'Life is perfect.' (He had no job.)
5
The dumb stuff people write on Facebook. It’s like they’re all brain-dead and obsessed with likes.
'I’m so cool.' (He had 2 likes.)
'This is the best day ever.' (He had a migraine.)
'I’m going to be famous.' (He had 3 friends.)
xs