Facebook Time-Traveler

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3 views · Added 13d ago · 6 definitions

1
A Facebook Time-Traveler is a smelly, middle-aged man or woman who can't let go of the past and spends every lunch break staring at old classmates' posts like they're a lost love.
'Hey, remember that time you ate my lunch? I still remember.'
'Why did you move to Ohio? I could've been your friend.'
'You still use MySpace? I'm offended.'
2
A Facebook Time-Traveler is someone who sends you a message at 1:47 a. m. about how they wish they had your life and then block you the next day.
'I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.'
'You had the best job. I had the worst.'
'If I had your life, I'd never have to look at my mom's face again.'
3
A Facebook Time-Traveler is like a ghost from your high school who won't stop haunting your feed and keeps trying to drag you back to the past.
'Remember the time you spilled soda on Mr. Johnson? I still do.'
'You were the best at math. I was the worst.'
'If we had stayed friends, you'd have gotten my job.'
4
A Facebook Time-Traveler is someone who sends you a message every year on your birthday and acts like they've been your best friend the whole time.
'Happy birthday! You should've called me.'
'You still use Windows 95? I'm shocked.'
'I would've helped you with that algebra test.'
5
A Facebook Time-Traveler is a person who thinks they're cool but keeps posting pictures of their kid's birthday party like it's the most important thing in the world.
'My kid's birthday was the best. You should've been there.'
'I had cake. You had nothing.'
'You would've loved my kid. He's just like me.'
6
A Facebook Time-Traveler is like a broke version of you who still sends you messages and asks for money like you're their personal ATM.
'Can you send me $50? I'm broke.'
'You had money. I had nothing.'
'If I had your money, I'd never have to post about my ex.'
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