Facebook stalker (FBS)

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a person who checks your profile like it's their job and they’re getting paid in likes

They looked at your photo 17 times yesterday. You’re lucky they didn’t send a gift basket.

They commented on your post about pizza. It was 3 a. m.

They liked your status about your ex. They probably know your ex too.

someone who lives in your feed and eats your posts for breakfast

They posted a photo of your dog with a caption that made no sense. You’re confused.

They sent you a message asking why you’re single. You’re not even single anymore.

They watched your live stream and left a comment that said, 'You’re boring.'

a person who follows you just to make you feel bad about your life

They posted a picture of their vacation while you were stuck at work. It was 8 a. m.

They tagged you in a post about their new car. You still drive a 2005 Honda.

They posted a status about their perfect life. You’re sitting there thinking, 'I don’t even know what a perfect life is.'

a person who follows you just to feel important

They commented on your post with 12 emojis. You’re just trying to post a photo of your cat.

They sent you a message saying, 'You’re my favorite person.' You’re not even their friend.

They posted a story about your life. You had no idea they were watching.

a person who follows you like you’re the last slice of pizza

They liked your post about your Monday. You’re still waiting for the weekend.

They sent you a message at 2 a. m. asking why you’re not online.

They posted a story about your life. You didn’t even know they existed.

a person who follows you just so they can brag about it later

They posted a story saying, 'I follow this person and they don’t even know.' You’re still trying to figure out why.

They commented on your post with 'I follow you and I’m not even funny.' You’re confused.

They sent you a message saying, 'I follow you and I’m proud.' You’re not proud.