Facebook shower

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#morning ritual #phone addiction #faceplant

4 views · Added 13d ago · 3 definitions

Facebook shower is when you wake up and immediately bury your face in your phone like it’s the last thing you need to survive the day. Some say it helps your brain wake up, others say you’re just a lazy, dopamine-chained mess.

I woke up and immediately checked Facebook. My brain is now alive. My soul is now dead.

I opened my eyes and my phone. That’s two things I need to live.

Facebook first. Coffee second. My life is upside down.

by Slangipedia 13d ago

Facebook shower is when you start your day by staring at your phone like it’s a holy relic. It’s not a brain boost, it’s a cry for help from your brain. You’re just a walking addiction.

I checked Facebook before my coffee. I got 5 likes. I now feel accomplished.

I stared at my phone for 10 minutes. I now know 3 new things about my cousin’s ex.

I opened Facebook and cried. That’s how I start my day.

by Slangipedia 13d ago

Facebook shower is when you think your morning is complete until you’ve read every post, comment, and meme from your friends. It’s not a brain boost, it’s a brain meltdown. You’re just a dumb, phone-dependent mess.

I opened Facebook and saw my ex’s vacation pics. My brain exploded. My heart died.

I read my news feed before my coffee. I now know everything about my neighbor’s cat.

I checked Facebook first thing in the morning. I now have a headache and a new obsession.

by Slangipedia 13d ago