Facebook rip-off

My ex looked like a Victoria's Secret model on Facebook. Turns out she was wearing a wig, a fake nose, and her dog was doing the hair.

I asked him out because his profile pic was a million times hotter than me. He showed up looking like he had been in a trash can fight.

She had 10,000 followers and a perfect life. Then I met her. She had a 10-year-old kid, a divorce, and a face like a raccoon.

He used a filter so thick, I thought he was a cartoon character. In real life, he looked like a guy who just woke up from a nap in a dumpster.

She had a perfect smile on Facebook. In real life, she had a broken tooth and a permanent frown.

He posted a photo of a beach and a sunset. Then he showed up in a flannel shirt and a hat that said 'I survived the 2008 financial crisis.'

He messaged me, 'Hey, you look hot. Let's go on a date.' I showed up, and he looked like he had been hit by a car and a pizza.

She had 1,000 likes on her profile. When I met her, she had 1 like: from her cat.

He had a perfect profile pic. Then he showed up and said, 'I’m not that hot, but I’m a good listener.' I said, 'You’re not a good listener. You’re a good liar.'