Facebook Raping

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#notification nightmare #sleep thief #comment squad

4 views · Added 17d ago · 6 definitions

Liking every post someone made at 2 a. m. so they wake up screaming because their phone is exploding with notifications.

I liked 47 of your posts. You’re welcome. Now sleep with one eye open.

You’re going to die of notifications.

I like your life. I like your dog. I like your ex’s face.

by Slangipedia 13d ago

Commenting on someone’s wall with a squad of friends until their notifications are so high they’re questioning their life choices.

Why are you still commenting? I already cried 3 times today.

You’re not commenting. You’re torturing me.

I’ve been commenting for 4 hours. I have no life.

by Slangipedia 13d ago

Logging into someone’s Facebook without them knowing and turning their profile into a laughingstock for everyone to see.

I changed your bio to ‘I eat cereal for dinner’ and your picture to a cat wearing a crown.

Your status is now ‘I am a prisoner in this body.’

I added 50 fake friends named ‘Bob’ and ‘Karen’.

by Slangipedia 13d ago

Leaving your Facebook open and letting someone else mess with your life while you’re busy doing something else.

Your status is now ‘I am a confused potato.’ What even is life?

Your profile picture is a goat in a spacesuit. What even is this?

Someone changed your relationship status to ‘It’s complicated’ and your bio to ‘I cry at the gym.’

by Slangipedia 13d ago

Logging into someone’s Facebook because they left it open and then you go on a rampage changing statuses, adding friends, and sending random messages.

I sent your mom a message saying you’re a serial killer. She believed it.

Your status is now ‘I am a confused chicken.’

I added your crush as a friend and sent them a message saying ‘your friend is a weirdo’.

by Slangipedia 13d ago

When Facebook decides to upgrade your life and force you to use a new version you didn’t ask for and you can’t complain because they don’t care.

I tried to log out and it said ‘nope, you’re stuck.’

They changed my layout and now I can’t find my friends.

I used to know Facebook. Now it feels like I’m in a different universe.

by Slangipedia 13d ago