facebook potato

2 views · Added 3d ago · 6 definitions

A human who lives in their pajamas and only moves to grab a snack or click like on a cat video. They'd rather die than leave their room.

I haven't left my bed since Monday. My only social interaction is a comment on a meme.

I'm getting married and I still don't know my own phone number.

My mom called me and I answered with 'Hello?' like I was in a trance.

When you're so addicted to Facebook you forget to eat, drink, or even breathe. You're just a face with a phone.

I missed my own birthday because I was too busy liking a post about a dog wearing sunglasses.

I didn't notice my friend walked in because I was staring at a video of a duck dancing.

I ate cereal for dinner and I didn't even remember I was hungry.

A person who spends more time on Facebook than they do in real life. They’re like a ghost who only shows up for likes.

I saw my friend at the store and I didn't recognize them because they were wearing a shirt and not a Facebook profile picture.

I asked them how they were and they said 'I'm fine, just scrolling through my ex's photos.'

They went to a concert and took 100 pictures but didn't talk to anyone.

A human who would rather get a tattoo of a Facebook logo than actually do anything in real life. They're the worst.

I had to drag them out of their room to go to the grocery store. They cried.

They took 45 minutes to post a photo of their cereal bowl.

They got a tattoo of a heart with a Facebook logo on it and it's still not enough.

A person who lives on Facebook so much they forget how to talk. They just send messages like they're texting a robot.

They sent me a message that was 23 sentences long and it was just about a meme.

They talked to me for 10 minutes and only said 'Hello' and 'Bye.'

I asked them how their day was and they said 'It was okay, I posted 30 photos.'

When you're so stuck on Facebook you forget to shower, brush your teeth, or even remember your own name. You're a mess.

I walked into a meeting and my boss asked me who I was and I said 'I'm just a Facebook potato.'

I got a call from my mom and I answered with 'Hello, is this the Facebook potato?'

I forgot I had a date and showed up with my hair in a bun and a Facebook profile picture on my shirt.