facebook pimp

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2 views · Added 5d ago · 4 definitions

A guy too weak to talk to a girl in real life, so he chases them online like they're his last hope for happiness.

DM: 'Hey, I saw your profile and I'm kinda cute, wanna chat? I promise I won't be creepy.'

Post: 'Just friended 12 girls today. I'm getting close to my goal of 100.'

Status: 'I got 3 likes on my selfie. I'm rich.'

A person who has a Facebook account just to show off how many friends they have, like it's a competition and they're winning.

Post: 'I have 500 friends. You have 2. Sad.'

Status: 'I friended my cousin's dog. It's a flex.'

DM: 'I'll friend you if you friend me back. It's a thing.'

A person who posts fake pictures of themselves, thinking they're hot, but in real life, they look like they've been hit by a bus.

Post: 'Check out my abs. I'm a beast.' (Picture shows a blurry, stretched-out version of them.)

Status: 'I took this photo at 3 a. m. after eating 10 tacos. It looks amazing.'

DM: 'I added a filter to my face. I look like a movie star.'

A guy who can get a dozen girls to like him on Facebook, but when he walks into a bar, no one even looks at him.

Status: 'Got 10 likes from girls today. I'm living my best life.'

Post: 'I have 5 matches on Bumble. I'm a beast.'

DM: 'I'm so good at online dating. In real life, I'm a ghost.'