Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

When you lie on Facebook so hard your ex thinks you’re in a cult and your friends are paid actors

I’m single. Just don’t look at my profile pic.

My life is perfect. Don’t ask questions.

I’m not drunk. I’m just spiritual.

2

You fake a status on Facebook so your ex thinks you’re getting a divorce and your friends are all in on it

My marriage is over. Don’t text my husband.

I’m getting a divorce. Don’t ask why.

I’m moving out. Don’t follow me.

3

You post a fake Facebook status just to make your ex think you’re cheating and your friends are your new lovers

I’m with my new guy. Don’t text my ex.

I’m not cheating. I’m just dating my friend.

I’m happy. Don’t follow my ex.

4

You write a fake Facebook post to make your ex think you’re rich and your friends are all your new money crew

I just got a million dollars. Don’t text my ex.

I’m rich now. Don’t ask why.

I’m not poor. I’m just broke.

5

You post a fake Facebook status so your ex thinks you’re getting a tattoo and your friends are all fake influencers

I got a tattoo. Don’t text my ex.

I’m getting a tattoo. Don’t ask why.

I’m not getting a tattoo. I’m just dumb.

6

You lie on Facebook so your ex thinks you’re getting a divorce and your friends are all your new lawyers

My divorce is final. Don’t text my ex.

I’m getting a divorce. Don’t ask why.

I’m not getting a divorce. I’m just tired.