Facebook Lullaby

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2 views · Added 16d ago · 5 definitions

When you're too wired to sleep but too lazy to do anything else so you scroll Facebook until your eyes bleed and your brain turns to mush

Scrolling through ex's posts at 2 a. m. while eating cold pizza

Trying to fall asleep to a video of a cat doing math

Reading 100 comments on a meme about why pineapple doesn't belong on pizza

The act of using Facebook like it's a lullaby, only it doesn't help you sleep it just makes you wish you were dead

Looking at your mom's vacation pics and crying in bed

Reading your grandpa's rants about politics at 3 a. m.

Watching a 4-hour live stream of someone eating soup

When you open Facebook thinking it will help you sleep but it ends up keeping you up because everything is stupid and you're too mad to go to sleep

Arguing with a stranger over the best pizza toppings

Getting annoyed at your cousin's 500-word story about their dog

Trying to ignore 200 notifications from your ex

When you're so tired you can't think but you still can't stop scrolling Facebook because it's the only thing keeping you from going insane

Reading 200 comments on a meme about how bad the weather is

Trying to fall asleep to a video of a man singing opera

Scrolling through your aunt's 100 photos of her cat

When you're so tired you're ready to die but instead you open Facebook and end up staying up for 5 more hours because it's too stupid to leave

Looking at your uncle's 100 photos of his garden at 1 a. m.

Reading a 3-hour live stream of someone eating cereal

Trying to ignore your cousin's 200 comments on a meme