Facebook Hawk

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3 views · Added 14d ago · 6 definitions

1
A smelly, lazy person who stares at your Facebook all day like it's a soap opera and knows every tiny detail of your life, even if you're not rich or cool.
I saw your post about your dog dying. You didn't tell me? What's wrong with you?!
You liked my ex's new haircut? I'm gonna send you a death threat.
You know I got a tattoo today? You know I got a tattoo? You know I got a tattoo?!
2
A creepy person who stalks your Facebook like it's a prison and gives you fake compliments just to annoy you.
You said you're eating pizza? That's not a compliment. That's a threat.
I saw your post about your mom. I'm gonna call her and tell her you're a failure.
You liked my post. I'm gonna like your ex's face.
3
A dirty, loud person who checks your Facebook every five minutes and acts like they're your best friend even if they're not.
You posted a photo of your breakfast. I'm gonna post a photo of my cat's breakfast.
You said you're going to the mall. I'm gonna go to the mall and tell your mom you're a failure.
You're my friend. I'm gonna tell your ex you're my friend.
4
A person who knows everything about your life because they're always looking at your Facebook and they're not even cool.
You posted about your job. I'm gonna tell your boss you're a failure.
You said you're going to the gym. I'm gonna go to the gym and tell your mom you're a failure.
You're my friend. I'm gonna tell your ex you're my friend.
5
A person who's so obsessed with your Facebook that they think they're your best friend even if they're not and they're not rich.
You said you're eating pizza. That's not a compliment. That's a threat.
You posted a photo of your breakfast. I'm gonna post a photo of my cat's breakfast.
You're my friend. I'm gonna tell your ex you're my friend.
6
A person who checks your Facebook so much they think they're your best friend, even if they're not and they're not cool.
You said you're going to the mall. I'm gonna go to the mall and tell your mom you're a failure.
You posted about your job. I'm gonna tell your boss you're a failure.
You're my friend. I'm gonna tell your ex you're my friend.
xs