Facebook Enabler

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3 views · Added 13d ago · 5 definitions

A person who replies to every sob story like they're at a motivational seminar and you're the only one who didn't get a free sandwich

'I lost my job and my cat died!' 😭 'That's rough! But you've got this! 💪 Let me know if you need a pep talk!'

'My life is a disaster!' 🤢 'You're not a disaster! You're a work in progress! 🎨'

'I cried all night!' 😭 'That's amazing! You're strong! Now go cry again but with more confidence!'

Someone who acts like they're your best friend just because they replied to your sad post with a single emoji

'My dog ran away!' 🐶 '😢'

'I failed my test!' 📝 '😭'

'I'm lonely!' 🤢 '😩'

A person who thinks they're helping you by telling you your problems are 'inspirational' and you're 'just one step away from success'

'You're going through so much! That's amazing!' 😂

'You're not broken! You're a future billionaire!' 💼

'Your pain is your power! Now go cry in a corner and think about it!' 😂

Someone who replies to your cry for help like they're the CEO of your emotions and you're just a low-level employee

'I'm so stressed!' 😭 'You're not stressed! You're just not used to being a high-performing emotional machine!' 😂

'I'm dying!' 💀 'You're not dying! You're just having a midlife crisis!' 🤢

'I don't know what to do!' 😭 'You're not lost! You're just one step away from a promotion!' 💼

The kind of person who takes your misery and turns it into a business seminar for no reason

'I'm so sad!' 😭 'You're not sad! You're just not trained yet! Let me train you!' 😂

'I have no life!' 🤢 'You're not lifeless! You're just waiting for your life to start! 🚀'

'I'm stuck!' 😭 'You're not stuck! You're just in the middle of a strategic retreat!' 💼