facebook anomaly

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3 views · Added 4d ago · 3 definitions

1
A Facebook announcement that lies so hard it makes your grandpa's stories look honest. Like when someone says their partner dumped them, but really they just hit the wrong button or were too lazy to pick 'in a relationship' again. People flood the comments with fake sadness and ask if it's true like they’re interrogating a criminal.
My ex and I are still together, but my mom posted that we broke up because I forgot to update my relationship status.
My sister's Facebook said her boyfriend left her, but he just didn’t want to be seen with her at the grocery store.
My cousin's post said he got dumped, but he just didn’t want to admit he was still dating his ex's sister.
2
When Facebook lies so bad it makes your teachers look proud. It’s when a post says someone got dumped, but really they just hit the wrong button or were too lazy to change their status. Everyone comments with fake sympathy and one person yells, 'Is it true? Tell me it’s true!' like they’re watching a soap opera.
My uncle's Facebook said he was single again, but he just didn’t want to admit he was dating his niece's friend.
My aunt's post said she got dumped, but her husband just didn’t want to be seen with her at the mall.
My brother’s status said he was broken up, but he just forgot to update it after his ex moved out.
3
When Facebook is so full of crap it could be used as a toilet. It’s when someone posts that they’re single again, but really they just didn’t want to be seen with their ex, or hit the wrong button, or were being a total idiot. People reply with fake tears and one person yells, 'Tell me it’s not true!' like they’re fighting in a courtroom.
My cousin's post said her boyfriend left her, but he just didn’t want to be seen with her at the gym.
My dad's Facebook said he got dumped, but he just forgot to update his status after his ex moved out.
My sister’s post said she was single again, but she just didn’t want to be seen with her ex at the grocery store.
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