Facebook Agenda

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4 views · Added 13d ago · 5 definitions

Trying to get people to care about something by shoving your face in their feed and yelling about it until they can't ignore you anymore.

I just posted a link to my ex's new band. They're terrible. But I'm not done yet.

My mom commented on 12 posts about climate change. She's not stopping until the world ends.

I DM'd my boss a rant about the coffee machine. He replied with a picture of a donut. I'm still mad.

When you spam your friends' walls with links, statuses, and messages just to feel important.

My cousin posted a link to his cat's Instagram. It's just a cat. But I liked it 7 times.

My friend's wall is covered in ads for a gym. He probably signed up for 12 of them.

I wrote on my best friend's wall: 'You're ugly.' Then I posted a photo of him crying.

You're so desperate to make people notice you that you post about everything, even the weather.

My aunt posted 10 times about the rain. I don't even know why.

I wrote on my uncle's wall: 'It's 72 degrees. Why are you still wearing a sweater?'

My cousin tagged me in a post about a pizza. I replied with a picture of my dog eating my homework.

When you’re too lazy to do anything but make a big deal about something on Facebook.

I posted a rant about my coffee being too hot. Then I added 3 hashtags. I’m famous now.

My mom wrote on my wall: ‘Why are you still single?’ I replied: ‘Why are you still married?’

I posted a link to a movie I didn’t even watch. I’m just trying to look cool.

You think your life is so important that you need to tell everyone about it, even if it’s just a bad day.

I posted: ‘Today was the worst day ever. I got yelled at by my boss and my dog ate my sandwich.’

My friend wrote: ‘I didn’t get my dream job. I cried. I’m still crying.’

My uncle posted: ‘I tripped on the stairs. It was a disaster. I’m still sore.’