Facebook

Facebook is a sneaky backstabber that bans new accounts for no good reason. It uses fake rules to shut you out, and even if you do what it tells you, it still kicks you out like you're a failure.

Facebook is like a free info dump where you give away your secrets, and your old classmates use it to mock you for the rest of your life. Mark Zuckerberg is like Big Brother, but with a better salary.

Facebook is like jail. You write on the walls. You poke people who don’t even know you.

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion, but it’s filled with people who still think they’re cool.

Facebook is for people who think they’re famous. They post selfies like it’s their job, and they act like they’re dying over a broken-up relationship.

Facebook is like a fat, ugly reunion. It’s where you see your old friends and think, ‘Why are they still alive?’

Facebook is for people who are too basic and too loud. It’s like the internet’s worst party.