facebaking

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Showing off your dinner like it's the last piece of pizza on Earth just because you think your friends are sad.

I ate a 12-layer lasagna like it was the end of the world.

My chicken nuggets are so good they should have their own religion.

I had a smoothie so fancy it could beat up a king.

So high you think you're the president and your friends are just background actors in your glory.

I was so baked I told my mom I was gonna be president.

I thought my dog was a senator.

I tried to speak to my plants about politics.

Waking up stoned and posting on Facebook like you're the mayor of the internet.

I woke up and posted like I was the mayor of the internet.

I said my coffee was better than my ex.

I told my friend I was gonna take over Facebook.

Smoking weed and then commenting on everything like you're the funniest person who ever lived.

I commented on my friend's picture like I was a comedian.

I made a joke so bad it made my dog cry.

I posted a comment so long it could be a book.