Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

When someone else is still logged into Facebook, the next person can change their info and make them look like a fool.

My mom still logged in, so I changed her bio to 'I eat tacos for breakfast and cry at sad songs.'

My brother logged in, so I made his status say 'I am a chicken.'

My cousin was still logged in, so I made her a fan of 'The Emoji Movie.'

2

When you get hard just looking at your own Facebook photos.

I looked at my old pic from 2012 and got a boner.

I saw my gym pic and started jerking off.

My face pic from my birthday party made me go 'what the hell.'

3

When your friend forgets to log out, and you take over their Facebook to embarrass them with fake posts and likes.

I made my friend post 'My sister is a loser' and liked every single one of her posts.

I turned my friend into a fan of 'Dancing with the Stars.'

I made my friend post 'I love my ex' and tagged him.

4

When you log on to Facebook and see random people chatting on your page like they own it.

I logged in and saw my ex and his new girlfriend talking on my page.

I opened Facebook and saw my mom and her friend fighting on my page.

I logged in and saw my crush and his friend arguing on my page.

5

Jack is a guy with a face like a pussy, long greasy blonde hair, and he smells like he hasn't showered in weeks.

Jack came to my house and I could smell his face from the hallway.

Jack walks by me and I feel like I need to take a shower.

Jack sat next to me and I could smell his hair.

6

When someone adds themselves as your friend on Facebook while they're using your computer.

My friend added himself while he was surfing on my computer.

My cousin added herself while she was on my laptop.

My brother added himself while he was using my phone.

7

When your parent walks in on you jacking off and you act confused.

My dad walked in and I said 'Uh, I was just scratching.'

My mom walked in and I said 'It's not what it looks like.'

My brother walked in and I said 'What? I was just doing math.'