Fabrictist

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3 views · Added 15d ago · 5 definitions

1
A person who knows every stupid thing about fabric and can make it do whatever they want, even if it means screaming at it.
I can turn a single sock into a full suit if you let me. Or I’ll scream at it. Your call.
That fabric? It’s like a toddler. I’ve trained it.
You think fabric is just fabric? I’ve seen it cry.
2
Someone who knows more about fabric than your mom knows about your bad grades and can make it look good even when it’s clearly broken.
This fabric is broken. I fixed it. Your mom didn’t even notice.
You threw that fabric in the trash. I made it into a dress. It’s now wearing your mom.
That’s not fabric. That’s a crime scene. I made it look good.
3
A person who can make fabric do tricks, like magic, but also curse it if it doesn’t obey.
Fabric does tricks. I taught it. It’s also cursed me twice.
That fabric just did a backflip. I told it to. It also cursed me.
I can make fabric levitate. I also cursed my brother with it.
4
Someone who knows fabric like it’s their best friend and will yell at it if it doesn’t do what it’s supposed to.
Fabric is my best friend. It doesn’t listen. I yell at it.
That fabric didn’t do what I wanted. It got yelled at. Now it’s mad.
I told that fabric to behave. It didn’t. Now it’s wearing my pants.
5
A person who can make fabric look fancy, even if they had to rip it, burn it, or curse it to get it there.
That fabric looks fancy. I burned it. It’s now fancy and cursed me.
I ripped it. I made it fancy. You’re welcome.
That fabric was trash. Now it’s fancy. I’m not.
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