Fabophobia

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14 views · Added 2mo ago · 6 definitions

The terror of opening Facebook because you know your ex is there and your mom is posting about your old dog and your best friend has 500 friends and you have 2.

I logged on and my ex commented on my post. I died.

My mom posted a photo of my dog from 2012. I felt ancient.

My best friend has 500 friends. I have 2. I cried.

by Slangipedia 2mo ago

When you sign up for Facebook and it feels like you’re signing your soul away to a creepy algorithm that will judge you forever.

I made a Facebook account and now I have 12 friends. I’m doomed.

The algorithm knows I eat cereal for dinner. It judged me.

I posted a photo and now I have 3 likes. I’m dying.

by Slangipedia 2mo ago

The agony of being on Facebook and realizing your life is a mess and your friends are all perfect and you’re just you, and that’s not good enough.

My life is a mess. My friends are perfect. I’m just me. Not good enough.

I posted a photo of my pizza and got 0 likes. I cried.

My friend’s life is perfect. Mine is a disaster. I’m done.

by Slangipedia 2mo ago

The horror of being on Facebook and seeing your old friends, your ex, your mom, and your dog all at once, and you just want to die.

I saw my ex, my mom, and my dog on Facebook. I died.

My old friends are all perfect. My life is a disaster.

My dog has 100 followers. I have 2. I’m dying.

by Slangipedia 2mo ago

When you open Facebook and it’s like a judgment day for your entire life, and you’re just trying to survive the embarrassment.

I opened Facebook and it was like judgment day. I cried.

My entire life was judged by my friends. I was embarrassed.

My friends judged me. I was a disaster.

by Slangipedia 2mo ago

When you make a Facebook account and it feels like you’re signing up for a lifetime of cringe and embarrassment and people knowing your business.

I made a Facebook account and now everyone knows my business. I’m cringing.

My friends know my business. I’m embarrassed.

I posted my life. Now everyone knows. I’m dying.

by Slangipedia 2mo ago