Fabo

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Those chunky glasses that look like they were stolen from a clown’s face and glued on with snot.

My cousin wears those Fabo glasses and looks like he just got hit by a glitter bomb.

That guy at the bus stop is wearing Fabos so thick, you can’t tell if he’s crying or just sad.

My mom’s Fabo glasses are so big, they look like they belong on a giraffe.

A giant, smelly, loud human who thinks he’s a god and can’t tell the difference between a compliment and a punch in the face.

That Fabo at the gym just screamed at the treadmill like it owes him money.

My uncle is a Fabo. He eats three sandwiches at once and still thinks he’s thin.

That Fabo in my class talks so loud, the teacher has to yell over him.

A fat Aboriginal who thinks he’s a king and can’t stop talking about how much money he’s gonna make.

That Fabo at the market kept talking about his ‘big plans’ and still bought three pies.

My cousin’s Fabo uncle said he’s gonna be rich and still lives in a van.

That Fabo at the bar keeps telling people he’s gonna be a billionaire one day.

A black guy who raps like he’s being tortured and looks like he just escaped from a jail cell with a glitter explosion.

That Fabo raps so loud, the dog next door ran away.

My neighbor’s Fabo screams random words and looks like he’s been hit by a glitter bomb.

That Fabo at the party raps so loud, the DJ had to turn off the music.

A big, meaty pole that you hope never goes inside you.

That Fabo is so big, it looks like it’s gonna fall over.

My brother’s Fabo is so big, it could be used as a ladder.

That Fabo is so big, it makes me want to run away.

A fat Aboriginal who thinks he’s the most important person in the world and still eats three pies at once.

That Fabo at the restaurant ate three pies and still said he’s gonna be rich.

My uncle’s Fabo is so big, it could be used as a door.

That Fabo at the park eats pies like it’s a competition.

A brain-dead person who looks like they just got hit by a bus and still can’t tell if you’re being nice or trying to kill them.

That Fabo in my class looks like he just got hit by a glitter bomb and still can’t tell if I’m being nice.

My neighbor’s Fabo can’t tell if I’m being friendly or just being annoying.

That Fabo at the mall looks like he just got hit by a bus and still doesn’t know what day it is.