fabloppered

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When you're so drunk you think your pants are made of cheese and your cat is trying to steal your soul.

I woke up on the floor with a pizza box and a dead goldfish. I'm fabloppered.

He tried to flirt with my mom and called her a 'buttery muffin.' He's fabloppered.

She texted me 'I love you' in all caps and then cried. She's fabloppered.

So wasted you can't tell if you're in a car or a dumpster, and your brain is doing the Macarena.

He tried to drive but ended up in a tree. He's fabloppered.

She texted me a picture of her dog wearing a hat. She's fabloppered.

He said 'I’m gonna marry the pizza.' He's fabloppered.

When you're so drunk your eyes look like they're about to fall out and your tongue is doing a solo dance.

He tried to eat a whole cake and cried. He's fabloppered.

She texted me 'I’m a disco ball.' She's fabloppered.

He told my dad he was a ‘fart ninja.’ He's fabloppered.

When you're so drunk you think your shoes are alive and they're plotting against you.

He tried to sing but it sounded like a goat with a megaphone. He's fabloppered.

She texted me 'I’m the queen of the cheese.' She's fabloppered.

He said ‘I’m gonna beat up the internet.’ He's fabloppered.

When you're so drunk you're like a confused goldfish who just got dropped in a blender.

He tried to fight a traffic light and lost. He's fabloppered.

She texted me 'I’m a cheese burrito.' She's fabloppered.

He told my mom he was a ‘sponge rock.’ He's fabloppered.

When you're so drunk your brain is on vacation and your stomach is doing push-ups.

He tried to text me but sent a picture of a banana. He's fabloppered.

She texted me 'I’m the king of the cheese.' She's fabloppered.

He said ‘I’m gonna eat the moon.’ He's fabloppered.