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My dad called me on my phone during band practice and yelled, 'I’m a rockstar, not a pizza box!'

He tried to play guitar at my mom’s birthday party and broke a string and a vase.

He wears his old gym shorts to work and says it’s 'business casual.'

He told my friends, 'I once moved a couch by myself. I’m a superhero.'

He wears a cape to the grocery store and says it’s 'superhero mode.'

He once tried to save a cat from a tree and got stuck himself.

He tried to make breakfast and set the kitchen on fire.

He wears socks with sandals and calls it 'fashion.'

He once tried to text me and sent a photo of his bald spot instead of a message.