Ebensburg

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#boring#sucky#sidewalks

5 views · Added 14d ago · 4 definitions

1
A tiny, smelly borough with about 3,000 people who don’t know how to have fun. It’s got more pizza joints than sense, a lake that’s just there to look pretty, and workers who dig up sidewalks like they’re in a war, then plow snow back in your driveway like it’s a personal attack.
My mom moved here and now she just screams at the sky every Tuesday.
I tried to go to the movies, but the only thing playing was a 2001 documentary about sidewalk cracks.
The only exciting thing that happened this year was when the pizza delivery guy got stuck in a ditch.
by Slangipedia 14d ago
2
A place where nothing ever happens, unless you count the time the video store closed and made everyone cry in the middle of the night.
I had to go to three different pizza places just to escape the silence.
My best friend’s dog ran away and came back with a Subway sandwich.
The only thing that ever excites people here is the Chinese buffet, and even that’s just because the rice is good.
by Slangipedia 14d ago
3
A town so small it’s like the video store and the pizza places had a baby, and it’s named Lake Rowena.
There’s two high schools because the first one ran out of space and just screamed for help.
The snowplow drivers here are so lazy they plow the snow into your driveway like it’s a prank.
There’s so many pizza places that I’ve lost track of which one is the best, and I’ve been here for 10 years.
by Slangipedia 14d ago
4
A town where the angels are so bored they have sex in the clouds just to pass the time, and it makes the clouds gray because they’re tired of being white.
I saw an angel fall out of the sky and land in a pizza box.
My teacher said the clouds were gray because the angels were arguing about the best pizza place.
The local bar has a sign that says, 'Angels welcome, but only if they’re drunk.'
by Slangipedia 14d ago
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