Ebay Birthday

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A birthday where the birthday kid is too lazy to blow out candles or eat cake and instead just stares at eBay like it’s a lifeline.

Instead of opening presents, he opened an eBay search for 'mystery box.'

The cake was cold. The eBay search was hot.

He said, 'I’d rather bid on a toaster than have a party.'

When the birthday kid is so glued to eBay they forget it’s their birthday and just end up buying a $500 lamp they don’t need.

He bid on a lamp for 2 hours and forgot about his party.

He said, 'This lamp is worth it. My cake isn’t.'

He bought the lamp. His friends bought cake. He won.

A birthday that’s basically just a long eBay session with a cake in the background and no one else showing up.

The cake was there. The people weren’t. The eBay search was the main event.

He had a cake. He had a bid. He had no life.

He said, 'I don’t need friends. I need a vintage toaster.'