Eating the onion

I watched the whole news segment about aliens taking over the Senate and now I’m buying a telescope.

My mom told me the president’s dog can do math and I believe her.

I thought the weather forecast was a conspiracy and bought a snowsuit in July.

I tried to eat an onion like it was an apple and my face looked like a raccoon’s.”

At the grocery store, I picked up an onion and said, 'This looks like something George would eat.'

I took a bite of onion and cried so hard I woke up my dog.