eating is cheating

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Real men don't stop for food during a pub crawl because they’re too busy getting drunk and pretending they don’t need to pee.

I’d rather drink until I pass out than eat a burger at 2 a. m.

If I stop for food, I’m officially a weakling.

Real men drink, they don’t nibble.

When you’re already in a relationship, but you still do oral sex on someone else because you’re too lazy to stop and think.

I was with my girlfriend, but that guy had a hot dog and I couldn’t resist.

I had a date, but I just wanted a burger and a blowjob.

I was in a relationship, but I had a snack and a side dish.

Oral sex is not cheating, it’s just a bonus you get when you’re already doing the main event.

I was with my girlfriend, but I got a bonus from the guy at the bar.

I didn’t cheat, I just got a free side of fun.

I was in a relationship, but I got a little extra.