eatbot

1 views · Added 5d ago · 5 definitions

a human who eats like a trash can on speed and only cares about getting full and cheap food

I eat three burgers a day and still have a snack at midnight. I'm not a person, I'm a food disaster.

My doctor said I have a heart made of pizza. I said, 'Cool, I'll keep eating.'

I don't need a gym, I need a nap after every meal.

a human who eats like it's a religious experience and only uses the bathroom when forced

I don't eat, I worship the fryer. My sins are in the soda.

I once ate six tacos and cried because I was happy.

I didn't come to church, I came to the drive-thru.

a person who shoves food in their mouth like it's trying to escape

I ate so fast I got a hairball from the chicken nuggets.

I don't chew, I swallow like it's a race.

I once ate a whole pizza in ten seconds and got a stomach ache that felt like a slap.

a human who eats like they're being paid by the calorie and only think about the taste

I eat for the flavor, not the health. My body is a sacrifice to the fryer.

I once ate ten donuts and forgot my own name.

I don't need a diet, I need a holiday.

a person who eats like it's their full-time job and only gets excited about the sauce

I eat like it's a career. My sauce is my salary.

I once got a promotion for eating a whole burger in one bite.

I don't need a break, I need a snack.