eat your shirt

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When you say or do something so dumb that everyone in the room loses their minds and wants to throw things at you.

My homie said he’d eat a whole pizza for breakfast. I said, 'Bro, you’re gonna die.' He said, 'I’m already dead.'

At the party, my cousin tried to rap and failed. Everyone laughed so hard they cried.

My teacher asked me what 'inconceivable' meant. I said, 'That’s a word?' She said, 'That’s a crime.'

When you do something so bad that even your mom sides with the enemy.

My little brother tried to beat up my friend. My mom said, 'Go on, beat him up. I’ll make you pancakes.'

My dad tried to fix the TV. Now it’s broken and he’s crying.

My dog tried to eat my homework. I let him because he’s cute.

When you mess up so badly that people think you're a walking disaster.

I tried to cook dinner. Now the house smells like burnt hair and regret.

I tried to flirt with my crush. He said, 'You’re like a bad meme.'

I tried to play the guitar. It sounded like a cat with a cough.

When you do something so embarrassing that people remember it for weeks.

I tried to dance in front of the whole school. I tripped and fell into a puddle.

I tried to tell a joke. No one laughed. They all left.

I tried to sing in the shower. My neighbor called the cops.

When you act so stupid that even the most patient person loses it.

My friend tried to argue with a robot. The robot won.

I tried to explain why the sky is blue. My teacher said, 'Just shut up.'

My brother tried to eat a whole cake in one bite. He cried.

When you do something so idiotic that the room goes silent just to avoid laughing.

My cousin tried to talk to a chicken. It stared at him.

I tried to run a marathon in socks. I fell down three times.

My mom tried to tell a ghost story. The ghost laughed at her.