eat under table

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A friend who eats like a fat pig while you're stuck nibbling a crumb.

My buddy eats like a horse and I’m just trying to survive a sandwich.

At the buffet, he took three plates and I got stuck with a single taco.

He eats so much, I think he’s gonna burst and I’ll be stuck cleaning up his mess.

You try to out-drink a man, he fails, then his girlfriend shows up and eats so much she could take you down like a bear in a food fight.

I challenged my pal to a drink, he couldn’t even stand up, then his girlfriend came and ate like a dragon.

I said I’d eat her under the table, and she said, 'Bring it.' I lost a friend and a full meal.

He said he’d help me, but his girlfriend ate so much, I had to eat her under the table instead.

A man in Jamaica who licks and sucks a woman’s crotch like it’s the last meal on Earth.

That man licks her like she’s a dessert he’s been waiting for all week.

He sucked her like she was a lollipop and he was a kid.

He didn’t just lick her, he sucked the whole thing out like it was a vacuum.

When you say 'eat under the table' on New Year's and hope you don’t get stuck eating alone while everyone else parties.

I said 'eat under the table' and now I’m stuck with a plate of food and no friends.

I wished for 'eat under the table' and got stuck with dinner and no one to talk to.

I said 'eat under the table' and now I’m the only one who didn’t get a drink.