Eat his cake

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When a girl licks a guy's pubes so long and hairy they look like a chia pet that outlived his tiny penis.

She took one look at his leg hair and said, 'You're gonna need a ladder for this.'

He was so embarrassed he tried to hide behind his mom's couch.

His friends just laughed and said, 'That's the best he's ever looked.'

When a girl goes down on a guy's pubes that are so long they could be mistaken for his forgotten penis.

He was so shocked he dropped his phone in the toilet.

His friend texted him: 'Bro, you look like a hairball.'

She didn't even blink when she started licking his leg.

When a girl licks a guy's pubes so long and thick they look like they could have been adopted by his forgotten penis.

He was so embarrassed he ran out of the room and cried in the closet.

His girlfriend laughed so hard she fell off the couch.

His mom walked in and said, 'I don't need to know that.'