Eat Ass Go Fast

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The king of all ass-eating speed. You don't just skate fast and eat ass, you make the ass eat you.

Skateboarder: 'I'm not just riding fast, I'm eating ass so hard it's eating me back.'

DM: 'You tried to pass me, and I ate your ass so fast, your mom called me for help.'

Tweet: 'I skated so fast, I ate ass so hard, the sidewalk cried for mercy.'

When you don't just eat ass, you tear it apart like it's a bag of chips.

'That kid tried to beat me. I didn't just eat his ass, I crunch it like it's a snack.'

Comment: 'He ate my ass so fast, my face turned red from laughing.'

Caption: 'I was eating ass so fast, the wind had to take a break.'

The ultimate ass-eating combo. You skate so fast, you leave your own ass in the dust.

'I skated so fast, my ass was left behind, crying for help.'

Caption: 'Eating ass so fast, I left my own ass behind.'

DM: 'You tried to pass me, but I ate your ass so fast, your shoes fell off.'

You don’t just eat ass, you eat it so fast, it doesn’t even know what hit it.

'I ate your ass so fast, it didn’t even get a chance to scream.'

Tweet: 'He ate my ass so fast, my face got a workout.'

Comment: 'She ate my ass so fast, my mom said I was lucky.'

The original ass-eating turbo. You don’t just skate fast, you make the whole world eat ass.

'I skate so fast, the whole world had to eat ass just to keep up.'

Caption: 'I ate ass so hard, the sky turned green.'

Comment: 'He was so fast, the ass-eating started in the clouds.'