easy sleazy

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A lazy, hot mess who thinks being drunk is a full-time job and is also a total dirtbag

She showed up to my party in pajamas and took my last pizza slice.

She tried to flirt with my dad and called me a crybaby.

She promised to clean my room and then fell asleep on my floor.

A human version of a greasy burger that doesn't know how to shut up

She kept talking about her ex at the dinner table and spilled ketchup on my shirt.

She tried to impress my friends by telling them she knows how to dance and then tripped.

She texted me at 3 a. m. to ask if I wanted to go get fries.

A girl who looks good but acts like she's been through a war and also smells like old socks

She came to my house and smelled like my brother’s gym bag.

She called me a loser and then cried when I beat her at video games.

She tried to be cool but fell off the couch and made a mess.