Eastonitis

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7 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

1
Eastonitis is when a short, unpopular kid suddenly starts flipping like a maniac. You never know when he’ll flip you in the face. If you let him, he’ll turn your whole group into flip-obsessed lunatics.
Flip or be flipped. No mercy.
He flipped me in the middle of math class. I got a D.
He flipped my mom. She cried.
2
Easton is a rich, white, popular kid who thinks he’s the best at everything. He also happens to be the name of a brand that sells stupid shoes. He’s basically a walking advertisement.
Easton wears pastel polos like they’re a fashion statement.
He thinks he’s the best at everything. He’s not.
He bought a farm just to feel cool.
3
Easton is your best friend who loves video games and will laugh at your stupid jokes. He’s also the guy who will cry at a sad song and then yell at you for not listening to his rap music.
He cried at a sad song. I laughed at him.
He yelled at me for not knowing the words to his rap song.
He’s my best friend. He’ll be there for you.
4
Easton is the hottest guy you’ll ever see. He dances like a pro, has abs that could cut steel, and is surrounded by dumb friends who think they’re cool.
He dances better than my grandma.
His abs are so tight, they could crush a can.
His dumb friend @ty_mouse thinks he’s cool.
5
Easton is a rich town with more cows than people. Kids there drink like sailors and do drugs like it’s a sport. They think picking fruit is the best thing ever.
They think picking fruit is the best thing ever.
They drink like sailors and do drugs like it’s a sport.
They wear pastel polos and think they’re cool.
6
Easton is a town where kids drop out of school, get knocked up, and then take naps. It’s basically a vacation for lazy people.
He dropped out of school to take a nap.
He got knocked up and then took a nap.
He’s the laziest kid in the whole town.
7
Easton is a man with a peen so huge, it hangs out of his shorts during baseball games. He’s basically a walking peen.
His peen hangs out during baseball games.
He’s the literal definition of hung peen.
He’s a walking peen.
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